Today, at our neighborhood beach in Santa Cruz, I found myself in a zen state of calm and bliss as the fresh ocean air blew around and on me, filling my lungs with the sweet and saltiness of the ocean-kissed wind.
I was in the zone.
I was merrily floating down the stream of life.
I felt in blissful alignment with the universe. And I was grateful that I was so self-aware of what a wonderful state I was in.
With days and moments like this, it is hard to even think about being in any other state of mind. That I could find myself tomorrow in a bad mood, or fearful or sad seemed absolutely out of the realm of reality.
But you and I know this is inevitable. Monday comes rolling around, and life gets busy with challenges and distractions and we find ourselves stumbling out of alignment with the positive state we were just in.
One of the emotions we face that disrupts our alignment with the universal flow is fear.
A while back, I did an exercise about fear with Bernadine, a friend of mine who is also a Life Coach.
In this exercise I listed my top 10 fears. Part of the idea is if you list your fears, you can better face them. As we talked about my fears, I really felt discomfort and also my tension rising.
But today, at the beach, I thought back on the exercise and went over some of the things that I listed as fears. On this perfect day, in this natural setting, the idea of my fears seemed so alien…like they didn’t belong to me. There was no room for fear because I was full of contented bliss.
I realized that my truth is, when I am connected to the universal river of life and I let go, and I go with the flow - all worry and fear simply cannot co-exist in that reality.
If I visualize my "life state" is a cup, and my cup is filled with peace and certainty and pure belief in everything connecting to create a perfect balance to the natural flow in the universe, then there is no room for self-limitations of fear.
I originally heard about this life-state “cup” when I was listening to the Audio version of Psycho Cybernetics (FYI - it has nothing to do with Scientology). This audio book had a deep and profound effect on my life - and I discovered many deep truths, that to this day I value. This “cup” analogy was part of one of the many discoveries I gained.
In Psycho Cybernetics, the author spoke of the idea that if your cup is full of fear, anxiety and worry, you leave no room for happiness, contentment and confidence. You have to be willing to acknowledge what you are filling your cup with and to be willing to release or let go of any negative emotions that leave no room for the positive ones.
What I have found is the same goes for perception. If you allow yourself to perceive only negativity around you, you are guaranteed to only experience frustration, betrayal and cruelty from people around you. If you expect negativity, you are guaranteed to experience it. It will be hard to allow yourself to perceive the beauty, compassion and kindness from people around you.
I am not saying that it is easy to change from a negative to a positive state. It takes consistent effort, conscious choices to let go of the negative and receive the positive in your cup of life.
It means taking a leap of faith, being brave. And for some this may be extra challenging because some people find it easier, or may even feel safer by to keep negativity in their cup.
But in the end - no one can fill your cup with what you feel, but you.
Here are some tools you can use to kick start you in the right direction:
It is always good to find tools and experiences that give you that extra boost to help you get back to the emotional state you want to be in. But if you really want to experience sustained lasting happiness in your life, you need to own the fact you get to decide what is in your life- state cup.
And in the end, you are in control of your emotional state and your perception - and all these affect how you view and experience the depth, richness and quality of your life.
You are in control of your destiny, your perceptions, your beliefs, your experiences and ultimately your life...and this is a very good thing because this means you can make the conscious decisions to get yourself in the happiness state you deserve to be in.
So choose every day, to allow happiness to fill your cup.