On the Surface, I seem to have it all... but inside I feel so disconnected...
I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it’s not the answer. ~Jim Carrey, Actor, Comedian, Human
It’s true money cannot buy happiness. In my research and while working with clients who “seem to have it all” but feel disconnected and unhappy, here is what I have noticed
They have similar stories…
Successfully sold company/ stocks or other investments are doing really well
Family members living on legacy wealth trying to figure out what they want to do with their lives
The person they love is high net worth or high profile spouse
Are a High Net Worth or High Profile / Famous Person
Retired with Plenty of Time, Money and Resources
Came into Money through Winnings, Inheritance or Trust Funds
And they have a complex mix of concerns, issues and insecurities under the surface …
There is a strong desire to have more meaning and purpose in life – that is currently lacking Things that used to give great pleasure, are now only somewhat satisfying or even boring Tired or not interested in “Keeping up with The Jones" Life just doesn’t seem real – and there is a feeling of disconnection Feel uncertain as to whom to trust – and worry about privacy Maybe event worry about losing their money Some feel guilt for having what they have
These issues and concerns can cause real unhappiness in their lives.
Unfortunately, to people outside the situation, it seems that those who seem to "have it all ” lead the charmed and happy lives… but in reality it’s just not true.
These “charmed lives” people called “selfish”, “spoiled”, “ungrateful” and worse for appearing not to fully appreciate what they have and others do not. To those the negative words are being said to, it can leave them feeling guilt, hurt, shame, distrust or disconnected. The fact is…Every human being on this planet needs to feel like their life has meaning, purpose and value. And everyone wants to feel connected, love and happiness. period.
In a perfect world we would look stop looking at what people “have” and start looking at “who they are as a human being” and go from there. But since we don’t live in a perfect world, those that externally “have it all” need to look within, and start a journey to figure out how to make their inside life feel whole, meaningful and purpose filled. This journey can begin by compassionately exploring “what needs to heal”, “who can I count on “what needs to change” and “what inner strengths do I already have” to help create a meaningful, satisfying and purpose filled inner life.
So what next…. It’s time to figure out what resources, support and tools you need to help you begin this journey.
Go pick out some books.
Talk to your friends.
Find a Coach or a Therapist to help you feel out your journey.
But do something… Because everyone deserves to find a happy equilibrium – and feel like you “have it all” inside and out.
And here are a few more quotes to inspire you to take the next step.
Life isn’t about getting and having, it’s about giving and being. –Kevin Kruse
“When you have a sense of your own identity and a vision of where you want to go in your life, you then have the basis for reaching out to the world and going after your dreams for a better life.” ~ Stedman Graham
You may have heard of the phrase “shirt sleeve to shirt sleeve” which refers to the common belief that for most of the Wealth in Family, will be gone within 3 generations. And time and time again this deems to be true, based on my personal research and conversations with friends and clients. Below I also bring up 3 steps to how to break this curse.
Here is what happens with each generation:
1st Generation - this person or together with their spouses, they start with no real financial means, but they works hard to gain the money. Usually this is driven by a deep desire to create a long lasting wealth legacy so they and their family. so they don’t have to suffer or struggle with financial issues.These folks are the Earners.They do all the work to make the fortune, and some tend to have more conservative views on their money.
2nd Generation – Children of 1st Generation of Wealthy may either have first hand experienced the family come into money or they were born into it. Either way, they benefit from the money in the family, usually don’t have to work for it. These generations are the Gainers.They will usually gain this money through inheritance or through trust funds.They enjoy the benefits of their gained money, They buy the nice houses, wear beautiful clothes, spend their time on Charity or on the Board Arts Boards.And unless they have the right circle of trust (various personal and financial advisers) this is where the family fortune plateaus.
3rd Generation– The Children of the 3rd generation were born wealthy have learned their financial values from their family and peers. Most have never had to work hard for anything and lack exposer to natural challenges that come when money needs to be earned. Unfortunately they tend to run into problems with entitlement or money guilt.This is the generation that tends to consume the financial fortune which leaves no financial legacy for their children.
The Fourth Generation - The Children of the 3th Generation, even though they were raised around money, have to live with the reality, there is nothing left in the fortune and they find themselves in the situation where to start the process all over again.
So what can be done about this? How can this 4th Generation Curse be broken?
Here are three things that can make a difference:
One. Parents teach your children what they need to know + Teach your children how to have a healthy sense of responsibility and respect for money + Expose them to situations where money can’t buy happiness but their own efforts can + Teach them about creating short term and long term goals – this will help them see their life as whole and not just what is happening at the moment
Two.Get really clear about your own personal life purpose and meaning so you can come up with a Personal Plan to help you figure out what you want your life to be about + Self-Exploration – Read books, attend seminars and reflect through meditation and journaling + Get a Private Empowerment Coach – If you find you need more than Self Exploratory work. If you want to have a trusted partner on your journey to help you figure things out, create plans and take action.Your Coach can help you, overcome what is blocking you, create a balanced happy life with purpose and meaning. My clients are looking for that one on one support to take them to the next level of life satisfaction. + Meet with a Psychotherapist – If you find yourself facing persistent depression, anxiety, despair or grief, you should find a trusted therapist to help you through the dark back into light
Three.Surround yourself with the right Legal and Money Advisers* who really listen to you and will align your Personal Plan with your Financial Life.And most importantly of all, they should be all working together in alignment on your behalf. + Financial Advisers – From Insurance to Investments, you need a set of Financial Advisers that you trust to act in your best interest based on your needs and desire to grow and maintain the wealth legacy for generations to come + Certified Public Accountants – A good CPA can help you with Tax protection strategies and help you keep track of your financial health. + Legal Advisers – From Estate to Tax Attorneys, it is important to protect your wealth and your family with legal experts who are well versed in working with Legacy Family Wealth.
So in summary, if you educate your Kids, get your own Personal Plan in order, and use that Personal Plan to work with your Legal and Money advisers, you can overcome the curse of the 4th generation, and your money can last for many more future generations. And that is a beautiful thing!
* Note: Sometimes you get all or some of these roles in one place if you belong to a Family Office
As a Private Empowerment Coach, Holly Hansen believes she has the best job in the world, by helping you discover, define and create a wonderful life, and she will also help you eliminate personal blocks that limit your personal happiness and fiscal health. Holly Hansen is not a Financial Adviser, she is focused on you as a coaching client and your personal needs, so you can effectively help you communicate to your Financial and Legal Advisers how they can best support you. Share this with someone you care about